Healing & Recovery

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Many years ago, attending a church service, I met a woman whom I hadn't seen for a while. She informed me that she had been unwell with a physical ailment, but was now making a full recovery. Freely she admitted that she had sought the help of a spiritualist faith healer, and since her visit, her condition had improved. I didn't inquire further into the matter, but I thought it very strange that a member of the church, who obviously wished for a spiritual dimension to healing, should seek help outside the church. Although this woman couldn’t totally be at blame because such little is discussed of healing in some churches, this woman is by no means alone in her search for healing. It is correct to say that the whole church's foundation is based on the ministry of healing in some form or another, but I do have the reoccurring thought that somehow our views on healing, and our search for it, have become terribly distorted.

There seem to be three distinct approaches to healing within the church. The first can hardly be termed an approach at all, as it is in these churches little, if any, is spoken of the healing ministry, as was in the case just mentioned. A customary prayer list for the sick may be established, but even the necessary healing dimensions of confession is not preached, and more importantly, not practiced. I was once a member of such a church for a decade, and I missed out on much teaching and healing there.
The second approach is far different to a non-practicing approach inasmuch as it has become the all-encompassing approach. I have visited churches such as these, too. These are at the extreme end of the spectrum, with a tendency to have a showmanship quality about them - "Come up to receive your healing now!" At one such church I attended, the priest, who was well respected within church circles, and had indeed gained an excellent reputation for healing in the power of the Spirit, stood in front of the congregation, and declared, "Someone here has a painful knee, come and be healed!" I almost found the experience shocking.
The third approach is one I personally feel more comfortable with. The healing ministry is taught and practiced with a balanced view, including the importance of the medical profession. In these churches there is instruction on the healing power of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the Eucharist, to the Sacrament of Silence. Some may wonder why I have included silence here, but in my personal healing, and my observance of others, I have found that ceremonies initiate a healing, silence fulfils it. This is a very important point.

We have to consider what healing we. If we were to think about it for a given period of time our lists could grow very long. It is necessary when we speak of healing to speak in terms of the whole person: body, mind and spirit. For the purpose of clarification here, I will term body as outer, mind and spirit (soul) as inner. Whilst physical (outer) healing is desired by some, all people need to receive inner healing. However, it's pointless to make lengthy lists in the same way we make shopping lists or lists for Christmas presents. Jesus Christ is not Santa Claus, and we cannot gather healing for this ailment or that ailment in the same way we choose items from a supermarket shelf. Astonishingly, this is how some healing ministries carry on. Lists are presented in the form of what can we be healed of this week? Then a group of people will gather around the unhealed person where some will be speaking in tongues, some practicing the laying on of hands, but all praying to Jesus for the healing of the person. Miraculously a healing may take place, but having to disappoint the reader at this point, the healing requested is in most cases just not going to happen. This approach can be nothing more than a quick fix, applying band-aids rather than attending to the deeper lesions within which require stitching.
You may ask, but what of miracles? Whilst even the smallest of healing can be seen in its truest sense as a miracle, also for the purpose of clarification, I will leave the broadest sense of the word miracle to that of outer healing. Yes, I do believe in miracles. I wholeheartedly believe in the miracles that have been performed by the intercessions of Saints, whether alive or dead. I strongly believe in the ministries of Kathryn Kuhlman, the Sandfords – and all those thousands who have, and still are, being used by God to perform miracles. I also believe in the miraculous healings that have taken place on pilgrimages. But, if we ask for healing which is not in accordance with God's will, we have become that unfaithful generation Jesus reproached when asking for a sign. (Matthew 12:39) We have to get honest with ourselves. If we are that perverse generation, seeking healing for the sake of self rather than glorifying God, then the miracles we so desperately seek are not going to happen.
Volumes could be written on why some receive outer healing and others not, but it also a mystery - one we are not privy to. In the words of a friend of mine: "We are not going to know that answer this side of physical death - that part of the program hasn't been published yet". To ask for outer healing could, in fact, be asking for something which is against God's will.
Saint Alphonsus de Ligouri speaks of this in his small book Uniformity with God's Will:

The story is told of a client of St. Thomas of Canterbury, who being sick, went to the saint's tomb to obtain a cure. He returned home cured. But then he thought to himself: "Suppose it would be better for my soul's salvation if I remained sick, what point then is there in being well?" In this frame of mind he went back and asked the saint to intercede with God that he grant what would be best for his eternal salvation. His illness returned and he was perfectly content with the turn things had taken, being fully persuaded that God had thus disposed of him for his own good.
There is a similar account by Surio to the effect that a certain blind man obtained the restoration of his sight by praying to St. Bedasto, bishop. Thinking the matter over, he prayed again to his heavenly patron, but this time with the purpose that if the possession of his sight were not expedient for his soul, that his blindness should return. And that is exactly what happened -- he was blind again. Therefore, in sickness it is better that we seek neither sickness nor health, but that we abandon ourselves to the will of God so that he may dispose of us as he wishes. However, if we decide to ask for health, let us do so at least always resigned and with the proviso that our bodily health may be conducive to the health of our soul. Otherwise our prayer will be defective and will remain unheard because our Lord does not answer prayers made without resignation to his holy will.

I believe this passage has much to teach us about outer healing, in better words than I could ever express.

On the subject of outer healing we should consider also our outer death as healing too, for the passing of the physical cannot be anything else but our bodily healing. A point in case would be that of my sister-in-law, who died at the age of 44. She was diagnosed as terminally ill and there was nothing the medical profession could do, except help to make her comfortable throughout her illness. Naturally, this was a very testing time for the family. She had become a Christian a couple of years earlier, whilst visiting Jerusalem, but even with her new-found faith, the emotions which are presented to a family when such news is broken still have to be worked through. We had to observe her going through the difficult stages in preparation for her death. We were fortunate enough that she was completely open and honest about it, which helped those around her face their own pain of the grief process – this open and honest attitude fostered a healing environment. Prayers for her healing were offered up, but always with the proviso that God's will be done. Her healing came in the form of acceptance, as in the case of most terminally ill. In retrospect this acceptance was more valuable than any physical healing she may have been granted, for acceptance brought peace, not only to my sister-in-law, but to the family as well. This was only achieved through complete honesty in facing the reality of the situation. And also the acceptance that we may not receive an answer to the question most of us asked: Why does God takes people so young? All of us asked this, except the one facing her death.

Outer and inner healings, for the major part, are interwoven - an inner healing can bring about an outer healing. Fr Jim McManus, in his book The Healing Power of the Sacraments, gives an example of this when he explains a case of a religious sister who had suffered osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis for many yeas. She felt an urge to see Fr McManus, and in their meeting much prayer was said. Past hurts, resentments and anger surfaced as they prayed. Instantly, an inner healing took place, which initiated her physical healing. By the end of the same month all traces of her arthritis had completely gone. However, Fr McManus also states wisely in his book that a balanced approach to healing must be restored; that there is a need to accept the redemptive side of suffering, too, as not all can be cured by prayer and the sacraments.

It is this inner imbalance within ourselves that we primarily need healing. We must go through the healing process of a perspective shift. Once this has happened we will be open to gain our own healing and to be used as instruments for the healing of others. We need to be healed to heal.
The major part of our imbalance is our denial; refusing to face the reality of our circumstance. A case in point may be that of someone who has suffered long as a comfort eater. From early childhood this person may have had an initial problem with the unmanageability of anxiety. Because excessive amounts of food release chemicals into the body that sedate, this person may, at a young age, have discovered this sedation, albeit unconsciously, through the consumption of large quantities of food. Throughout the years their health can begin to suffer because of their increased weight - heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and all manner of secondary symptoms. The initial problem has not gone away, but in effect it has attracted more. This person will justify their actions, saying they are big-boned, or rattle off some other such excuse. They may be a member of a church where the healing ministry is practiced, and go for their healing from high blood pressure and diabetes. But they are not going to find the healing they require. They are in denial. It is their problem with anxiety in need of healing, and not the symptoms from which they spring. Until this insidious denial barrier is broken then no such healing for this type of person will be possible. This example is by no means exclusive to the eater…

Many years ago I had a friend who was a keep-fit junkie - every weekend he would be out hang-gliding, mountain climbing, or partaking in competitive sports. A couple of times he represented Great Britain in the World Judo Championships. Because of his overtly-active lifestyle, once or twice a year he would receive injuries brought about by his sport participation. At these times he would fall into depression and become angry that his activities would have to be curtailed until his physical injuries healed. What my friend failed to realise, very much like any addict, he had become addicted to the body's natural production of endorphin (a natural pain-killing chemical which is released into the body through exercise.) Once he was forced to rest, through injury, the chemicals would stop flowing, and he would enter the process of withdrawal symptoms, a manifestation being depression.

My friend was overtly active, but there are many people who exercise less, but are nonetheless still addicted to natural body-producing chemicals. I have found this to be the case in many I have met and still meet in ordinary daily life.

Another major area where healing is greatly needed is in our working environment. There is an unspoken need for workers to perpetually perform their best, to put in long hours, and outperform themselves and colleagues time and time again. Society may call them excellent employees, but truly it's a sickness called workaholism. It not only appears in ordinary businesses, but in our schools, hospitals, monasteries and churches! When one begins to look more closely, it is not surprising that organisations worldwide operate like this if the members of which they comprise are sick and in need of healing. Anne Wilson Schaef and Diane Fassell have written an excellent book on the subject called: The Addictive Organization. Its subtitle brilliantly comprises our problems: Why We Overwork, Cover Up, Pick Up the Pieces, Please the Boss and Perpetuate Sick Organizations. (see Suggested Reading list at the end of this article)

Unfortunately, our society as a whole, more often than not, promotes these unhealthy attitudes, accepting nothing short of perfectionism. And if we, as individuals, continue as we have been, seeking healing for our superficial problems, while remaining ignorant and in denial about our true sickness, then we are not going to find true healing.

Seeking the wrong healing happens with much frequency in the church. It is not just a matter of laying on of hands or speaking in tongues over someone. It is only by getting to the core truth that we are healed - the truth which sets us free!

For many of us, our problems can be termed addictions. You may cringe at that statement. You may categorically disagree. But that response stems from our initial problem - denial. We may not be an "in the gutter" alcoholic, or a drug addict who needs to shoot up on a regular basis, but we may be addicted to something - whether it be a substance, a process, or a compulsive behaviour.

Addiction serves a purpose: to either sedate or stimulate. We unconsciously choose our "fix" in accordance with our particular personality. Personally, because sometimes I find anxiety within myself difficult to manage, I head for the sedation techniques. Comfort eating can be my addiction of choice, but if I really want to be in denial about that one, then I can choose another option, like sleeping for far too long! If I had possessed a personality requiring stimulation, then the gym, gambling or sex could become problem areas.

I believe sex addiction happens to be a huge problem within society, and remains unspoken about (we are as sick as our secrets - as an old saying goes in Addiction Recovery Groups.) Orgasm is one of the most powerful and pleasurable experiences we can encounter, and being so, when its proper use is turned to misuse and abuse, we may find ourselves seeking its pleasure by engaging in titillating conversation, conjuring up sexual fantasies, viewing pornography, compulsively masturbating, or seeking out immoral sexual encounters. In short, we have entered the realms of sexual addiction.
Addictions are usually to be found in clusters. It's a sure sign that if you have one, another one, two, three or more are lurking under the surface. Our most unmanageable addiction is the one that needs the most urgent attention – although we are not usually awakened to multiple addictions until we start dealing with one.

Placing to one side the major addictions, with which we are all so familiar, the more subtle addictions of food, work, exercise and sex, are not only the biggest killers to healthy relationships, with others and ourselves, but the biggest killers of the spiritual life. Unfortunately, few church members, clergy and laity alike, are working on their own subtle addiction issues. Only those who do can offer a true Christ-like ministry for the healing of others.

Where our churches are failing, the 12 Step Recovery Groups are succeeding, bringing about profound healing to those who authentically seek it. The balanced wisdom of 12 Step Recovery Groups has much to teach us about the path of healing. Firstly, they speak of their program as attraction, not promotion, and that recovery (healing) is a process, not an event. The members will also count themselves as recovering people, not recovered (humility). Each recovering member will seek sponsorship (spiritual direction) from another member of the group who is more advanced in their own healing. This attitude to healing keeps us stable and grounded in our approach, fostering humility, not pride nor grandiosity.

Because the original 12 Step teaching began in Alcoholics Anonymous, it does not mean the 12 Steps have no value for us who may not be alcoholics. Indeed, groups stemming from these original teachings have sprung up to help all those who have problems with overworking, spending, gambling, narcotics, eating, sex, co-dependency… all manner of subjects. It is worth mentioning here that the 12 Steps, if studied, are very much gospel based. Indeed, they are the way in which all Christians should be living their lives. If we do, then we cannot help but enter the process of healing. Their work is very much worth studying.
(I have included the 12 Steps at the foot of this article - both the original AA version, and also an adapted version. Beneath each step on the adapted version I have also included related scripture)

Spiritual writers for centuries have been informing us of the same message, although it has only been in recent years, with the subject of addiction being studied more closely, that we are beginning to see what our problems are, and in a language we can better understand. The 16th Century Saint, John of the Cross, has much to teach us on the healing process. In his book Ascent of Mount Carmel, he speaks broadly of attachments (addictions). He states that they can either be termed major or minor. He gives an analogy of a bird tied to a rope; it does not matter whether the bird is attached to a thick rope or a thin thread, the bird is unable to fly free until the rope or thread has been cut. An analogy worth meditating upon.

Our distorted family and social system values are also cords from which we have to be broken. Some people in need of healing may not be practicing addicts, but may have been brought up in a family system where an addict or an addictive process was present. The members of the family surrounding the addict do not go unaffected. In fact, they can adopt characteristics similar to, or secondary to, those of the addict. ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) is another 12 Step Recovery Group which has done much to highlight this point. They speak of The Problem and The Solution. The Problem being many of these adult children (those who have reached chronological age, yet are still bound by childhood issues and unmet needs) find they have several characteristics in common, among which are feelings of isolation, uneasiness and fear of authority figures. They find that they are not only at risk of becoming addicts themselves, but form relationships with others who have compulsive and addictive personalities. In general, they are hurt people who have adopted a self-defeating lifestyle, albeit unconsciously. The Solution, in short, is to first become your own loving parent, to re-structure self-destructive thinking, and to use the 12 Steps and Recovery Meetings to enter the process of healing. During this journey of discovery and recovery, they eventually come to see their biological parents as instruments of their existence, and their True Parent being their Higher Power - God, in whom all authentic healing is to be found.

Whatever healing we need, most of us foolishly wait until the matter becomes intolerable before we seek it. We must remember that we can postpone our healing, but not hurry it. Unfortunately, some of us learn the hard way, deliberately delaying help for our predicament. This way makes for unnecessary suffering and many missed opportunities for healing. Our delay can only be attributed to our fear. Paradoxically, it is the fear of death that keeps us in our sickness. The fear of death I speak about is not that of outer death, but that of inner death, where we are in need of healing most of all. We can see this most poignantly within scripture:

Since all the children share the same human nature, he too shared equally in it, so that by his death he could set aside him who held the power over death, namely the devil, and set free all those who had been held in slavery all their lives by the fear of death. (Hebrews 2:14-15) - Bold italics mine.

Remaining unhealed within keeps us bound as slaves - not spiritually free sons and daughters of God. Any attachment, whether it be to a person, material object, compulsive behaviour, or a favourite addiction, eventually wearies us, makes our devotions lukewarm and stains our hearts and souls. It is a slow descending spiral which increasingly distances us from God, heading in the opposite direction to healing and spiritual liberation.

Many of us weave lifestyles for ourselves, or form relationships with others, which are not conducive to our well-being. Because these unhealthy lifestyles have become part of our identity, we are afraid to change them. We have become stuck - and sick. Gradually, we develop all manner of psychosomatic illnesses, which manifest through either mental or physical ill health - sometimes both. In denial, we cling to these lifestyles so tightly, through fear of the unknown, refusing to die to those things in our life which we wrongly think keep us functioning. It is not until we surrender those things (die to them) that we correctly see that those things held us not in life, but in death. Our awareness and struggle with them is our road to Calvary. When we realize we cannot continue living as we have been, we have begun to taste our own powerlessness, and begin to peek through our wall of denial. We are on the first of the 12 Steps – meeting our own powerlessness. At this moment of crisis we cannot do anything but surrender. It is at this point we experientially enter the death and resurrected life our Saviour promised us, receiving the healing from Him we have so desperately sought from others all along.

This death is not the only one we have to suffer. We have to experience it time and time again with all those things about us that are not of God. We have to be careful that our surrender is not partial repentance, for if we only offer a half-hearted attempt, we will only receive the amount of healing in the measure we surrender.

Our healing is really about choices, of which we have three, as Anne Wilson Schaef states in her book, When Society Becomes an Addict.
1. We can choose not to live, and choose to die - This choice usually ends in suicide. If not physical, then emotional and spiritual, because whatever addiction we care to partake, it will eventually kill us, one way or another.(Italics mine on sections 1- 3)
2. We can choose not to die and choose not to live - This attitude is the one most frequently adopted. It's the static, stale state of non-living.
3. We can choose not to die, but choose to live - This is the option taken by those who seek and are rewarded with healing.

It's important to remember by those who go for healing or those who practice the healing ministry, that not all who go for healing desire healing (Option 2). Yet, if we do genuinely seek healing for ourselves (Option 3), we may still meet an unspoken opposition from those close to us. In this case, our nearest and dearest may see our healing as threatening, for if we receive the healing we desire, it will force them to face denial in their own life, too. It would threaten their world of subtle control and manipulative behaviour – threaten our relationships. So if these relationships are built on unhealthy dysfunction and one member begins to get better and grow... the relationship could be at risk. However, our healing cannot be compromised at any cost. For such a one who courageously steps forward to authentically receive the healing ministry will come to know the secret of true healing. Once they enter this knowledge, they have also entered a new freedom of life whereby they can all the more readily accept their outer bodily sickness if ordained by God's will.

And so, the passage which frequently appears within scripture, where the Holy Spirit speaks to Isaiah, is correct:

Go and say this to the people:
Listen and listen but never understand!
Look and look but never perceive!
This people's heart is torpid,
Their ears dulled,
They have shut their eyes tight,
To avoid using their eyes to see,
Their ears to hear,
Using their hearts to understand,
Changing their ways
And being healed by me.
(Acts 28:25-27)

12 Steps & Related Scriptures

1. We admitted we were powerless over (our particular addiction) - that our lives had become unmanageable.
I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out - Romans 7:18

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose - Philippians 2:13

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Therefore, I urge you, brother, in view of God's mercy, to offer you bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - which is your spiritual worship - Romans 12:1

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord - Lamentations 3:40

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed - James 5:16

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up - James 4:10

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness - John 1:9

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Do to others as you would have them do to you - Luke 6:31

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift - Matthew 5:23-24

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall -
1 Corinthians 10:12

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly - Colossians 3:16

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted - Galatians 6:1


Original 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


Suggested Reading

Diane Fassell - Working Ourselves to Death: The High Cost of Workaholism and the Rewards of Recovery

Anne Wilson Schaef, Diane Fassel (Contributor) - The Addictive Organization: Why We Overwork, Cover Up, Pick Up the Pieces, Please the Boss and Perpetuate Sick Organizations

Anne Wilson Schaef - When Society Becomes an Addict--Hope & Healing from an Addictive Society

Anne Wilson Schaef - Escape from Intimacy: The Pseudo-Relationship Addictions: Untangling the 'Love' Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships

Archibald D. Hart - Healing Life's Hidden Addictions: Overcoming the Closet Compulsions That Waste Your Time and Control Your Life

Melody Beattie - Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself


Catalogues of excellent titles: Books, Booklets and Tapes, can be obtained from the following addresses:

Fellowship Souvenirs
The Mail Office
PO Box 131
Falmouth Cornwall TR11 2YR

Tel: 07000 560752


Living Solutions
25D Southside Industrial Estate
Pouladuff, Cork, Ireland

Suggested Web Sites

http://www.christianrecovery.com/

http://www.christians-in-recovery.com/

http://www.adultchildren.org/

http://www.for-him.com/

(C) Steven Winwright 2002